


My Heart's Truth

by Sadlyamundane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: It's what I deserve, M/M, canon but i fixed it, i fixed everything and made it better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 13:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14189493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/pseuds/Sadlyamundane
Summary: “Raphael?”“What do you want”“Can we talk?” he asked and cautiously stepped forward.“There’s nothing to talk about” Raphael looked up at Simon.“Please”“Fine, sit down” Raphael mumbled and go back to looking at the ground.Simon sat beside Raphael, an awkward silence fell between them. Simon thought of all the things he wanted to tell Raphael. He wants to say sorry, he wanted to work things out but no words came up. Nothing felt right or genuine enough.“You know I’ve always wanted you to shut up but can you please say something” Raphael looked at Simon and then back at the floor.





	My Heart's Truth

Magnus sighed as the door bell rung. He’d gotten tired of how many times it had rung from the time he’s been denounced as High warlock. Everybody wanted something or another from him. 

“I’m coming” he called out.

“What can I- Raphael? What’s wrong my sweet boy?” He reached out to cup Raphael’s cheek.

“How do you always know when something’s wrong?” Raphael leaned into the warmth of Magnus’ touch.

“I practically raised, I can read you like an open book” Magnus dropped his hand and gestured for Raphael to come in. “Now tell me what’s wrong”

“It’s nothing I promise” Raphael forces a smile. 

“Raphael Santiago you do not show up on my doorstep looking like you’ve rolled out of a casket, if nothing’s wrong. Now tell me what it is”

Raphael signed and he could feel the weight of the world being lifted off of his shoulder as Magnus embraces him tightly. “It’s Rosa” he sobbed “she’s dying” It was odd to hear those words out loud. For so long he’d kept them inside. Apart of him was almost relieved.

“Oh my sweet boy” Magnus whispers softly, his hands gently stroking Raphael’s back “have you spoken to Catarina, is there anything we can do?” 

“I did, she’s doing the best she can. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later but I just wish I” Raphael pauses to wipe away his tears “I wish there was a way I could spend some time with her”

“Do you want me to portal you there?” Magnus asked.

“No, it’s not that. Rosa always loved Central Park during Spring. I wish I could take her there like I use to when we were kids. I want to spend time with her the way I use to before it’s too late”  
“I understand, if only I knew of a way. You know I wouldn’t hesitate to help you”

“I know” Raphael smiles weakly at Magnus. 

Magnus lets go of Raphael and guided him into the living room “I know it won’t solve your problems or make you feel better but have a drink with me?”

“One, I have somethings to take care of before dawn” Raphael sits in the couch and tilted his head back. Within moments he was on his second glass of whiskey.   
And no longer after that he was on his fifth. The mood had lightened significantly. He’d began to tell Magnus stories. Some old, some new. But most had to do with one person in particular, Simon. 

“He’s so selfish” Raphael slurred somewhere after his tenth drink “h-he’s a baby, he’s been a vampire for two months and already he gets to walk in the sun again, daylighter”

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked. Of course, he’d heard the rumors but he hadn’t actually seen it for himself or spoke to Simon since”

“I saw him go into the sun” Raphael lifted his hand towards the early morning rays that had began to flood though Magnus’s apartment. Magnus quickly bats Raphael’s hand away from the light and closed the blinds with a flick of his wrist, he hadn’t realized how much time had passed. “He looks nice in the sunlight”

“C’mon you’re staying here” Magnus says as he helped Raphael to his feet and up to a room. 

“What’s going on?” Alec asked as he came through the door after night patrol “you had a party without me?”

“Raphael is here” Magnus signs and gently stroke Alec’s arm “There’s blood bags on the bottom shelf in the fridge if he needs it” he checks his watch “I have something to take care of” Magnus kissed Alec’s cheek and opened a portal. 

_

Magnus pounds his fist against the door of the boat house harder than he’d intended.

“Hey whoa what’s g- Magnus?” Simon pulled the door open “Magnus what’s going on?” He yawned and squinted against the early morning sun. 

“So it’s true then?” Magnus eyed Simon curiously. He’s been alive for many year but he’d never once meet daylighter. 

“Do you want to come inside?” Simon asked and take a step aside. 

Magnus stepped inside, his arms crossed “so how you become daylighter?”

“I-I don’t know” Simon stuttered and fiddled with his thumb “It just happened”

“Of course, things just happens” Magnus rolls his eyes “Listen Simon, I need you to tell me the truth”

“Why, you’re a warlock. I don’t understand why you oh Raphael told you didn’t he?” Simon gritted his teeth “That guy really needs leave me alone”

“Simon I don’t think you understand” Magnus began but was abruptly cut off by Simon.

“You don’t understand. First he kidnaps me and then all of this crazy shit happens, he threatened by family. He threatened me. He tried to kill me. What else does he from want me? I told I don’t know how I became a daylighter” 

Magnus crossed his arm behind his back “Okay, but just so you I didn’t come here because he asked me. I did it on my own. You don’t know Raphael like I do so let me explain somethings to you. He kidnapped you for Camille, you only had to deal with her for a little while, she’s manipulative and will whatever she has to to get what she wants. She wanted you to use as a pawn to get the mortal cup, you were lucky that she sent Raphael and not someone else. As far as I know he tried to warn you to stay from the DuMort but you didn’t listen. He did whatever he could to help you and you went behind his back and release her. He vaues family more than anyone I know. He’d never hurt yours, he only said what he needed to, to get you take action. Aldertree could have killed him for Camille’s wrong doings and you played a part in that. You and Isabelle used the only family member he has left against him. Now she’s dying and you won’t help him get an opportunity to spend some time with her?” Magnus shakes his head in disbelief “Do you remember the night he showed up to wipe your mother and sisters memory and bring blood for you? He was with me and left instantly because you needed him. But I guess he’s in the wrong for wanting to have something that will make him feel a little human again. I hope whoever you’re trying to protect by keeping your secret is worth it” 

Simon looked at Magnus slightly dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open. 

“Goodbye Simon”

_

“Magnus what are you?” Alec asked as he saw his boyfriend surrounded by books. 

“Daylighter research” Magnus tosses one the books aside and picks up another scroll. 

“Which client this for?”

“No client, it’s for Raphael”

“Why don’t you ask Simon? Isn’t he a daylighter?” Alec sits besides Magnus and began to flipped through one of the books. 

Magnus scoffs “Selfish” He mumbled and continued his search. They continue to go through the books one by one “this is useless” he sighs in frustration. “I can’t find anything”

“Magnus why is this so important?”

“He deserves to be happy Alec” 

“C’mere I’ll help you figure it out”

_

Several days later Raphael shows up at Magnus’ door again. “Raphael, what’s wrong?” he asked as he took in the disheveled and bloodshot eyes. 

“Rosa” His voice crocked “she’s dead”

“oh Raphael, I’m so sorry” Magnus hugged Raphael closed as Raphael breaks down crying. 

Magnus gently strokes Raphael’s back when his doorbell rang “Go sit, I’ll go see who it is” Magnus walks towards the door and swings it open. 

“I’ll tell you everything you need to know” Simon says as he enters the house. 

“What are you doing here?” Raphael gritted his teeth and walked up to Simon, shoving him. 

“W-I’m here to tell Magnus”

“What so you can use him against me too? Like you did with my sister?” Raphael pushed pass Simon to leave “Well guess what. I don’t have a sister anymore”

Simon stares after Raphael as Magnus tries to stop him “what does he mean?” 

“Catarina called him today, his sister died” Magnus tries to compose himself. It pained him to see Raphael hurt, especially when he can’t do anything to help him. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Shouldn’t we go after him?”

“I will, but right now he needs to grieve, alone. Now what can I do for you?”

“I was going to tell you how I became a daylighter”

Magnus nodded and rest a hand on Simon’s shoulder “I doubt it matters anymore. He wanted it to be able to spend time with Rosa. But as you can see it doubt it matters anymore” 

“Magnus” Simon whispers softly. 

“Close the door when you leave” Magnus says as he walks out. Simon leans his head back against the wall and let out a sigh. 

_  
Thunder crackled loud overhead as the rain began to pour down. Simon shoves his hand into his pockets. He’d search through half of the city for Raphael since he left Magnus’ apartment earlier that night. 

He didn’t know where to find Raphael. He checked the hotel, he checked any vampire or downworlder bar he knew of but he couldn’t find him anywhere. He doesn’t know what he’d say to Raphael when he found him, if he found him, maybe he’d apologies. Would it be enough, he felt that they were past that point but he needed to try, he needed to fix this.

The rain pelted down against the empty streets. This would have been much easier if he’d ask Magnus to track Raphael or at least said yes to Maia when she wanted to help him. He slowed down and walked through a park somewhere in Harlem when he saw a lone figure sitting in the swing set. 

“Raphael?” 

“What do you want”

“Can we talk?” he asked and cautiously stepped forward. 

“There’s nothing to talk about” Raphael looked up at Simon. 

“Please”

“Fine, sit down” Raphael mumbled and go back to looking at the ground. 

Simon sat beside Raphael, an awkward silence fell between them. Simon thought of all the things he wanted to tell Raphael. He wants to say sorry, he wanted to work things out but no words came up. Nothing felt right or genuine enough. 

“You know I’ve always wanted you to shut up but can you please say something” Raphael looked at Simon and then back at the floor. 

“Yeah talking is my strong suit” Simon laughed but there was no merit to it. “Listen, I’m really sorry” 

“Why, you did whatever you wanted to do” 

“Raphael, I didn’t mean to hide it from you” Simon pauses to find the right words. “I mean I did mean it, I promised I was going to keep it to myself. I don’t regret free Camille but I never meant for it to get out of hand the way it did. I never intended for Aldertree to go after you. I just wanted him leave me alone. The only thing I truly regret and would change in a heartbeat, if I had one, I would never use your sister against you. I know how much she means to you”

“Meant to me” 

“Sh, I’m still rambling. I’m sorry Raphael. I’m selfish and cowardly and never own up to my mistakes. I shouldn’t have done half of the things I did. I can’t go back in time but I want to make up for it, just let me make it up to you”

“I’m sorry too. I’ve been so inconsiderate and hard on you. I never stop to think of how hard all of this would be on you. Your entire life got turned upside down. I remembered when I first turn I had Magnus by side. I should have been there for you.”

“We both suck”

“Sh it’s my turn to ramble” Raphael glared at Simon. “What I’m trying to say is, we should have tried to understand each other some more. Neither of us wanted this life. I’ve had to watch my family grow old and die. My sister died alone. All I wanted was to be by her side. You have the opportunity to be with your family and the people you care about. Go be with them.”  
“I am with someone I care about” 

Raphael looked around as if to see someone behind him. Simon chuckled “Oh? You’re talking about me?”

“Yes, I’m talking about you. Because believe it or not, I care deeply for you Raphael Santiago. You’re mean and scary and you care for the people around you deeply and when you say you’ll look after someone, me, you really stick to it”

“I do care for you too, even though you’re fidgety and always talking”

“Those are some good qualities”

“Sure Simon”


End file.
